Archive for October 18th, 2005
Graduation
Tuesday, October 18th, 2005
I’ve never really thought about graduating from college before. Seriously. The last time any kind of graduation crossed my mind was when I was handed my high school diploma.
Today, I saw an advisor about my status. I knew two things going in: that I was pretty much a senior, and that I was winging it and loving it. I’m not one to think about the end as much as the means; so much more time spent in the doing than the moment of being done.
So I found out I’m accidentally graduating on time. I say accidentally because I didn’t mean to—I never wanted to, actually. It just sort of crept up on me and bit me in the ass all of the sudden. Now I have to think about it, and damn I have a lot to think about. It’s the rest of my life I’m looking at—or, at least, I’m realizing that a little decision made now could affect things later on—not bad or good, just different, completely. So there’s a lot to think about.
Yeah, this is deep. I’ve been in a deep mood lately—turning 21, taking interesting classes, releasing zenphoto, supporting myself with my own money, graduating from Berkeley, and other things—a lot is changing.
I love it.
There we were aimed. And as we raced across
Bright knots of rail
Past standing Pullmans, walls of blackened moss
Came close, and it was nearly done, this frail
Travelling coincidence; and what it held
stood ready to be loosed with all the power
That being changed can give. We slowed again,
And as the tightened brakes took hold, there swelled
A sense of falling, like an arrow-shower
Sent out of sight, somewhere becoming rain.
—Phillip Larkin
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