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It was Free Ice Cream day today, and the line outside Ben and Jerry’s was three blocks long, so I got coffee instead. But it was the perfect day for it; hot and humid and sunny.

I’ve been stressed out a little lately — applications for the CS major are due next Friday, I had to sign up for classes yesterday, and I feel like everything is hinging on someone else’s decision. It feels like high school again. I just wish it wasn’t so competitive — that I could just study what I really want to learn about instead of… well… math.

What would I study? Music, writing, web design, computer science, astronomy, and environmental science. I could get by with just studying web design, though. That’d be fun. Might as well throw in a “no homework would be nice.”

Yeah, I know. Unrealistic. I just want to do what I love, and CS is as close as it’s gonna get here. I don’t know if that’s a bad thing or not. But I love Berkeley, and I don’t want to leave, and that’s what scares me the most, because I know that if I don’t make it into CS here, then I really have to go somewhere else to keep doing what I love. Either that, or choose something in that list up there that I could keep pursuing at Berkeley, which would be easy if I just had more time…

It’s all very complicated, but I really just have to stop worrying. I’m an optimist — always have been — and everything I’ve experienced has supported the fact that everything will turn out okay. A good thing to remember — if I ever die and they try to say it was a suicide, find the murderer ::