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It really is. I got an email today which (thankfully) reminded me to do my ES pre-lab. I then proceeded to do other things, and checked my email again, and remembered, but then I forgot again in like ten minutes! And I mean forgot, too; like, if I hadn’t just checked my email again I would have gone to sleep blissfully believing that everything was fine and done. I gotta try ginseng or something, man…. my to-do list is full of crap that’s there just so I remember to do it, heck, just so I remember it even exists. I had completely forgotten I had an ES midterm this wednesday until I looked at the syllabus to see what the next lab was (and this is after I had a review session). I was even planning on going to EB games instead of ES lecture as celebration of the completion of the first round of midterms! I guess I’ll just have to put that back an hour…

Ah but it could just be that I have too much to plan right now… I really hate planning… actually, I hate having anything to do with the future, in the most concrete sense. I live moment to moment, which is perhaps a bad thing in today’s society on which so much is dependent upon good planning, good time and project management. It seems though that most of my generation shares this thought… everyone procrastinates, never does anything until it absolutely needs to be done, puts things off if they don’t need to be done by the next moment. The idea is simple, yet important: we all live in the present, the future is as important to us as the past. The future is just a place to put things so we can have the present to ourselves. To-do lists perhaps support this a little too much. They’re a place to store things to do in the future; so once something’s on the list, you can forget about it. I think that’s why I’m forgetting everything.

So now I actually have to do my ES homework… go figure. Wish me luck on my math test tomorrow; though if it’s anything like the practice midterm they gave us, I should be fine. It’s just linear algebra (heh). ::

What an awesome game to watch. Triple overtime I just can’t explain the joy I experienced when I saw the football go right through the uprights at the end of the 3rd overtime. Maybe you just had to be there… sorry dad, you needed rest. Fortunately his season tickets went to my aunt and uncle and cousins, and it was great to see them.

What a party we had… oh man. We invited Rally-comm (the big spirit group) and the dance team (cheerleaders), so the house was absolutely packed. As was the dance floor, thank you very much. Rally-comm didn’t like much more than hip-hop, so that’s about all that got played. I did manage to squeeze in Oakenfold in the end, when people didn’t have much sense to care. And of course, DJ Koala and the Airman’s “Big C Late Night Remix” was a total hit. I even had a few people ask where they could get a copy. Nice.

So I just got done packing my gear up, and as you can imagine, I am dead tired. I got up at 6:15 to blast everyone with loud music at 6:45 (extra time is always good when dealing with electronics), so I’ve been up for about… 20 hours. And of course, not only up, but marching my ass off (which is extremely tiring), screaming for the team (my voice is shot), and setting up, partying, and cleaning up. It’s been a long day, just as I was thinking it would be 26 hours ago. I need to recharge.

Being tired isn’t all bad though. There were a ton of hot girls at the party (mostly rally-comm…), and I got to wondering at the end if any girl in the room would be anything close to the one I’m looking for… and the answer never came, because I was too tired to think about it. I decided not to. ... Go bears!!

Okay, I’m starting to fall asleep on and off here… I’d better get to bed—considering that in 5 minutes, I’ll be asleep no matter where I am, and my bed is more comfortable than my chair. Good night. ::

/::
Oh yeah, if you like good music, check out John Mayer’s new album (Heavier Things). It’s been on repeat in my head for the last week, and it’s got some beautiful lyrics—especially “Clarity” and “Daughters.” Good stuff. ::

I’ve been busy doing anything but blogging for the last week. I think I need something new to keep myself interested in this, maybe a photoblog would work better. I’ll think about it someday.

Anyway, I just had a CS “quiz” today, which was okay except that I sold myself short on a few questions and consulted the book (don’t worry, it’s open book) instead of trusting what I had written… so when it came down to the last five minutes, I realised that I could have used the ten minutes I spent making sure my other answers were correct to actually finish the last problem. So, in essence, I should have studied more. Oh well.

So after that, I walked my ass down to the used computer store to get some thermal compound for my CPU.

Whoops—- backtrack. My processor set off the heat alarm on my motherboard yesterday while I was playing the new Jedi Knight: Jedi Academy demo (which is friggin awesome). That means it got over 60 degrees Celsius (which is, for those of you who don’t know how to use Google conversions, 140 degrees Fahrenheit). That’s hot. So the alarm went off, warning me that if the proc got any hotter there might be some nasty burnt PCB smell coming out of the case real soon. I shut it off, let it cool, and looked at the heat sink. First of all, it’s the stock heat sink that comes with the processor-in-a-box, meaning it only does enough so the processor works; and secondly, it was very clogged with dust. So I removed it to clean it and reapply thermal compound and generally make things not so close to burning up. I failed to realise that I had no thermal compound to reapply. So I hooked up my laptop to my monitor and mouse to get my work done (which was cool—dual monitors) and left my processor alone for the night.

This morning, I had lots of ES, like I do every Monday. Then I had lunch and did my dumb CS quiz. Then I walked my ass down to the used computer store to get the thermal compound.

When I got there, I saw that thermal compound was almost as much as a new heatsink (a nice one, at that, at least for the lower speed Athlon XPs—the Thermaltake CU6) which included thermal compound. That was a no brainer. I also already have a tube of Artic Silver 2 at home if the need ever arises again. My processor is now happily idling at 43 degrees, and goes no farther than 52 degrees at 100% usage. I am much less worried.

So that was my story for today. Pretty boring. Though I did stop at the new EB Games on Shattuck… it’s so close to campus… the irony… and I almost gave in to buying the full version of JK:JA, but fortunately the power of the force compelled me to wait until after my Math midterm next Monday, directly after which (as in directly from 10 Evans) John and I will go buy video games to numb our minds. But unfortunately, until then, it’s math math and more math, which is what I’m about to do… after study break…. ::

Just the other day I went out to Emeryville (as we do every so often because there is, frankly, no large shopping center in Berkeley) with some friends to get things. I had this $50 Best Buy gift card, you see, so I had to get rid of it. I wanted a set of sattelite speakers for my sound system, because, although my two front speakers are very good and sterio sound is the preferred medium for quality music listening, surround sound is cool. So with that in mind, I went to the speaker section, hoping to get away with a decent pair of little speakers for $50 or $60. Well, I wasn’t looking for much at all, and I found a set of KLH 911-B 2-way bookshelf speakers (pictured) on sale for a whopping $19.95 a pair. And they sounded decent, even though I was in no shape to be buying speakers given that my cold had plugged up both my ears (which have just now finally unplugged themselves).

I took them home (along with 2 new CD’s, thanks to all the cash I saved—the Seabiscuit soundtrack, and the classic Miles Davis’ “Kind of Blue,” both are great) and plugged the speakers into the B channel to test them out alone. They’re noticably harsh on the high end, but not too bad. In fact, for the little 5 1/4” woofers, they sound pretty full. Not too bad for $20. So I plugged them into the rear channel, and tried the Dolby Pro Logic out with the Seabiscuit soundtrack. Pretty sweet sound, that’s all I have to say. Yeah, it’s processed, but it’s cool and that’s all that counts. Hehe, I heard our room described as “literally cool” the other day. Maybe it’s the three TV’s.

I like our setup very much. All I need now is a center channel! Okay, math lecture time. ::

I said a while back that I would re-post a “post-of-the-year” thingie, since I’ve been writing for a year and some now. So, here it is.

~ Friday, November 15, 2002 at 10:17 p.m. ~
I think I already posted today… ah, well…

There is a lot to say, always. I could write constantly—if I could simultaneously live out a completely normal life—and I would never run out of things to write about. So I do this instead. It works.

Some more things I’ve been thinking about:

Music… ahh yes, music… I haven’t played any really good jazz in a long time. Eddie said that after Big Game, we could have all the jam sessions we wanted, because he has a midterm in his Jazz theory class, and he didn’t want to build bad habits by playing how he wanted before the final. So I look forward to that. I did get this program called “Band-in-a-Box” that’s pretty cool—it’s basically an accompianament program for jazz. It’s nice to play along with, though generally prety straight and unfeeling. It also ‘calculates’ solos based on like 200 styles of famous musicians. It generally does a pretty good job. Amazing. But still not real. I like the feeling of really playing with other people and real music. I crave it now, and I have since the last time I did play, which was over two months ago. Man… it’s indescribable, the kind of expression this is… you have to play to know…

Speaking of music, I have addressed Big Game week in my previous entry. Yes. Well, I think I’m going to be overwhelmed. People do say it’s crazy. And I’m going to try to actually keep up in school at the same time… maybe I’m crazy. It’s just a week, though… I’m sure I’ll be able to manage. I always do. And it should be a lot of fun… there’s lots of stuff to do, and no sleep is always fun…

And more music… Tomorrow is a game, and I’m not mentally ready. I know everything—music, charts, the routine—I know it all perfectly. It’s like I’ve done it a million times before. But I don’t feel like it for some reason at this moment tonight. I’m sure I’ll be fine in the morning. Sleep does that. It’s a nice way of getting rid of feelings you don’t really want, and starting things new for a new 10-hour 180-degree period of terrestrial rotation. It’s amazing how relative everything is… example: what if we were nocturnal? Well, in any case, I still must wake up at 6 AM tomorrow and get up, get dressed, stress out for a few minutes thinking of everything I might forget, leave for the field, run back and get the thing I forgot, run back, stuff a donut in my face just three seconds before Jon Stan blows the whistle, practice, run to Sproul plaza to get a mediocre lunch quicker than anyone else (making it somewhat more satisfying), have a grape fight on the steps, walk back to BRH, put on my uniform, have sectional in the plaza, listen to Jon Stan’s speech (newmen in front), run up to Sproul Steps, play the noon concert, walk calmly down to parade block under Sather Gate, march up, get to the tunnel, fight thrugh the crowds to get the water, wait around for a half-hour trying to find interesting things to talk about, get into Tunnel formation, full-hog out into initial wedge, big C – sons – jonah – fight – America – banner – jog off, walk up to the stands (tempted by the cups of gatorade sitting there for the players), watch the first half, play halftime (I could describe every move, but I won’t), watch the second half, play postgame, march down, listen to Jon Stan’s final speech (which I won’t be able to hear because I’m standing behind him), play fight, trudge back to BRH, get out of my uniform and back into real clothes (thankful that I brought pants this time), walk back to TH (yelling “TH! TH!” at the doors to BRH), call my dad on the way home, get out my key after someone yells “newman get the door,” run up the stairs two steps at a time (except the last ones—there are 9 steps to the landing and 7 to the 2nd floor), plop down in my chair, turn on my computer, check my e-mail, turn on some music, write here a little, have dinner (after I hear the bell at 6:42, always slightly late), laugh at Matt and Misha at the table, have dessert, run back upstairs, play some computer games, maybe do a little math, wait for the party to start, go down a couple of times and sit on the couch with sober-comm and eat chex-mix, relax, and wait for the party to finish, and when it does, clean up (I’m on clean up…), and, sleep.

Wake to sleep, that is exactly how it will be. Exactly. The only uncertainties were the score of the game, and whether or not I will do a little math after dinner. But I’ll say anyway: the score, 31 – 14, Cal wins. And the math: I’ll do some. If I’m right on either of those, I’ll be justafiably surprised.

I wish just once that something makes tomorrow interesting. Really truly interesting. Or any day, for that matter, any day from now till forever. Every day would be nice, too… every day interesting, indeed, that would be nice. But unlikely. Thus is the folly of routine. I must live in it, because I myself cannot change the routine. I am stuck in it, as we all must be in some way. We have breaks every so often, definately, but it always returns to us.

Oh, what am I saying? So pessimistic, Tristan… cheer up! Live your routine, and appreciate it, cherish it. It comprises the majority of our time on this earth, and it, too, is a beautiful thing. And change it, if you wish. Make things interesting. Nothing says you can’t.

Such profound thoughts. Routine thoughts, fortunately… ;-). Have an interesting day everyone.

::

The following night, a half-hour before the party, the DJ cancelled on us. So I was the DJ. Most surprisingly interesting day of my life. Not because I didn’t want it to be interesting, but because I expected it to be, well, exactly as I said. Two days after that party, I accidentally set off the fire sprinkler and flooded the basement. Two days after that, my telescope was stolen.

That was the most interesting week of my life. I’m not a religious man, but I have to see the sentence, “I wish just once that something makes tomorrow interesting. Really truly interesting,” and think that something somewhere thought “You want for something interesting?? I’ll give you something interesting. But you get to see the other side of ‘interesting’ too… ”

It was an—interesting—coincidence.

But I’m now the regular DJ, and while it’s not quite as big a rush as the first time, it’s still a hell of a lot of fun, and very interesting.

Still, what the hell. I wish, just once, that I could find true love tomorrow. Just once is all I need. It won’t work again, but that post was cool enough to deserve the post-of-the-year title. ::

I haven’t updated this thing in a week or so, so I thought I would do something with the 20 minutes I have until I should be asleep.

I’ve got a cold. It seems to be in the final stages now; started with a horrible sore throat the day before yesterday. Oh well. Whatever doesn’t kill you….

Many interesting things have been happening lately. Last Saturday’s party was a blast—or, I should say, DJ’ing last Saturday’s party was a blast. Eric had a band last year, and left over from it was a pair of Yamaha PA speakers (15” woofer, horn tweeter). They sounded awesome, especially paired with my new speakers and high-powered amplifier (which didn’t even break a sweat, unlike the last one, which needed a desk fan). It’s great to have really good equipment, in any line of work.

Since then, it’s just been school and band and etcetera… nothing particularly interesting. We have away games this week and the next, so that means a 3 week show, which makes it significantly more difficult to learn, and cooler and better sounding and all that. We’ll definately show up U$C.

Our football team may be another story… we lost to Utah tonight after taking the lead in the 3rd quarter only to lose it again with a last minute touchdown. It was a let down. But then watched movies to get our minds off it.

I would really like to re-do my entire web presence again… I’ve learned too much over the summer not to do a PHP/MySQL integrated solution that I could update easily and redesign better. I really shouldn’t though; I have other things to do… like updating the Clarinet section web site, designing the Clarinet t-shirt, redesigning the Cal Band web site, upcoming CS projects, studying for everything, ad infinitum. There’s always something else I could be (should be) doing and never enough time to get everything finished and still have time for my own projects. Projects like… “get a girlfriend.” Is it bad that’s on my to-do list? ::

I’ve been installing Gentoo Linux since about 2 today. I had been meaning to reinstall Linux, and I was looking around for what people thought was the best distribution, and I found that Gentoo had quite a following, and is “highly customizable,” so the web site says. Well, it turns out that it’s more than highly customizable—it compiles everything from source directly on your system, starting with the compiler itself. That means that absolutely everything is optimized for your computer specifically. This may sound complex, but with Gentoo, it’s really as simple as typing “emerge package” which results in the latest version of the package and all its dependencies (things it needs to run) being downloaded and compiled and installed. It’s also that easy to update/patch/restore every single package ever installed on your computer. This package maintenance program is called “Portage,” and from what I’ve seen, it’s very very cool.

I’m beginning to learn that the worst thing you can possibly do while your computer is compiling is to watch. It is best to do other things—watching water boil, for example. At the water gives you coherent evidence that it will finish in some finite amount of time. (Compiling just gives you about a million pages of cryptic compile commands and messages that flash by at about 20 lines per second with no light at the end of the tunnel—and no tunnel, either, come to think of it).

So I think I’ll go do something more interesting. But I can’t wait until this thing finishes compiling; hopefully before midnight… ::

It was my birthday yesterday and I forgot to say anything about it. I forgot to call home too… oh well. That’s the thing—all the most important days are the busiest, and I just forget everything.

Informal Initiation was great though… silly newmen…. ::